A handbook for worthy candidates

KOCHI: The next time he is in the running for an international assignment like that of the UN Secretary General, Shashi Tharoor will know how to handle his opponent; how to launch an effective campaign or an even more effective counter-campaign.

As Shashi watches his would-be colleagues in the Congress, their youthful energy and artistic skills in making effigies of him, his close friends and associates believe he is busy writing his next book: one focusing exclusively on how to tackle an opponent in an election. It starts with the basics: A for arrogance, B for bullish, C for curse, D for dirty, G for goonda..

and so on.

Shashi includes a few worksheets on effigy-making and 100 slogans (no copyright rules applicable to this section) where one needs to simply fill the name of one’s opposing candidate in the blanks. We caught a glimpse of the acknowledgment sheet which reads: To the Congress leadership which thought of presenting an international personality to literate Kerala; to Rahul Gandhi who is struggling to inject sane and young elements into the Congress’ leadership; to Congress leaders in Thiruvananthapuram for innovative negative campaigning; to Gundukadu Viswam for lessons in mobilising non- Congress, non-BJP, non-partisan goons; and finally, to all Kerala voters who were foolish enough to expect the leaders they deserve.

The first two chapters deal with experiences gained in the international arena and how each one could be translated into feasible initiatives to uplift Kerala lives.

The third chapter, It Won’t Happen in Kerala, poses interesting questions. If Mangalore- born George Fernandes can be elected by Muzaffarpur voters why not me in Kerala? If Delhi voters can elect Kerala-born leaders, why not me in Kerala? Shashi does a psychological analysis of why Kerala-born important people are never welcome in positions of importance in this State where everyone is an intellectual genius. The last chapter lists the number of prominent Keralites outside Kerala with pronounced political leanings who are kept outside the State’s boundaries. It also examines why no cinema actor or other entertainer ever made it at the hustings.

In reality Tharoor may never write such a book. But the fashion in which his candidature has been greeted is an insult to the personality. Sorry, Shashi. Respect for a man of learning is something that the ‘intellectual’ Keralite wears like a fashionable bikini - exposing more than it covers.

Source : Expressbuzz